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Sunday, June 25

on she and his ( re edited)


Coming out of the woods

They...

First time

He feels proud, male

She...

Not what she had expected

She ...

Not what she had so thoroughly

Dreamt about

What a foul.

And he...

He feels proud and even sexy.

No words in the way back

His head up

Hers down.

Searching for answers

Why

In the first place

She ...

For so long

Had behaved

As if on sale.


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 Posting tonight for D'verse Poets Pub:   Sculpting a Poem

chiaroscuro by


14 comments:

  1. ClaudiaFebruary 25, 2012 at 10:04 PM

    ugh...happens all the time i guess...maybe the guys get a bit more sensitive with role models changing and the girls a bit more careful...love how you captured this dulce..

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  2. Brian MillerFebruary 25, 2012 at 10:50 PM

    ugh, that close grips...and hurts a bit...i was right there in the moment as well...i wish all first times could be the glorious thing we sometimes make them out to be...

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  3. ScarletFebruary 25, 2012 at 11:31 PM

    Why indeed...I can relate to your post ~

    The last line was a powerful close ~ Great take ~

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  4. Frank WatsonFebruary 25, 2012 at 11:59 PM

    I liked it on the first read, though not understanding it (being a barbarian and caveman), but liking the male-female tension and contrasts. Second time reading it, the meaning clicked, and yes, men and women are so different, opposites of the same coin, same experience, sharing the world but with a different understanding. The first time captures this polarity so vividly.

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  5. hedgewitchFebruary 26, 2012 at 12:40 AM

    Striking image, and the poem really surpasses it in evoking that heads-down feeling of illusions and innocence lost--very nicely done, Dulce.

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  6. steveroniFebruary 26, 2012 at 3:51 AM

    Maybe I get this--as I understand, but do not identify (although I read, and heard countless stories of the "conquest"-type Peeps.

    Foolish I...because always--even when drunk (I think)--my sole goal was to help my girl--who ever--feel loved, cared for, wanting more of tenderness time and extended time of lov...YOU get the picture.

    There must be many men who also enjoyed the 'giving' rather than the 'taking'?

    I was a loner--in drinking, and in loving, never hung around with guys bragging, etc. NEVER!

    This is not bragging, I just believe some Peeps are different. There were guys who "TALKED" about it--a lot! And then there were them who "DID" it. I have had a wonderful life.

    PEACE!

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  7. VictoriaFebruary 26, 2012 at 4:01 AM

    Good illustration of how the same experience is so different for those involved. This has a definite poignancy about it. Nicely written with a great finale.

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  8. LisaFebruary 26, 2012 at 4:11 AM

    Very nice with truth and revelations in every line.

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  9. Anthony DuceFebruary 26, 2012 at 5:06 PM

    The difference in youthful expectations are portrayed so well..

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  10. Man Named KimFebruary 27, 2012 at 1:16 AM

    powerful. when conquest meets hope.

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  11. hyperCRYPTICalFebruary 27, 2012 at 4:49 PM

    Alas first times are indeed sometimes a disappointment - your fine words are not.

    Anna :o]

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  12. CynthiaFebruary 27, 2012 at 5:21 PM

    Hmm. Dismayed and resigned to
    what one had hope would be so
    much more. Written as if you
    were stringing pearls.

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  13. Anne FrankMarch 1, 2012 at 11:36 AM

    I love the powerful image you achieve with the words "his head up, hers down" which by the way is very symbolic... Also love the innocence that begans in the poem in contrast with her final mature actitude of "searching for answers". Poor foul...I hope she learnt, because if not...there are more "first times" around.

    I wonder how can you be so profound with such an economy of language.

    Lot of hugs Dulce!

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  14. agujaMarch 3, 2012 at 5:54 PM

    Such a powerful poem. Your skill in choosing and using words is amazing.

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