She should have known better.
Powerlessly he dives
Into a lake that breaks
his fate
When the fireworks
all gone off
And too late she knows
What already the others warned.
It’s his pride
His discomfort
Against the whole world.
Flying too high
Leaving behind
What most matters,
Her safety
Her right
Now her plight.
_________________________________________posted for Open Link Night at D'verse
31 comments:
flying high leaving behind what matters the most...what a trap that is...maybe once i ws there but no longer...
We have all had those moments, Sweeter Poet. Look in today, and maybe slightly forward, rather than back. <3
Her situation is a sad one. And a man's pride is hard to deal with ~
Happy OLN day ~
What a sad piece written beautifully. And, your background is lovely :)
heavy emotion is carried softly in this piece... great write!
Too much pride ruins love...yet sometimes we need some of it to survive. Have to find a balance. Enjoyed it, Dulce.
his discomfort against the whole world...
so hard to have to always be brushing up against that...
Very nicely done . . . :)
Alaurilee
Very nice work Dulce - an emotional account with a great picture to add an extra layer
arron shilling
Very emotional piece, flying high can sometimes make you forget what matters.
Really enjoyed this. Great flow throughout, especially in the "Powerlessly he dives..." stanza. Great poem!
It's a fierce price we pay to burn so brightly.
It’s his pride
His discomfort
Against the whole world.. so good dulce...pride is probably the biggest disease on this earth - and destroys so much...and it's not easy to discover as it camouflages so well..
Oh! this is layered and complex. I fell into this piece because it wasn't surface or easy.
Lovely, sharp work.
Lady Nyo
Awesome. The fireworks gone, the newness of this relationship gone? He changed his fate, I assume by doing something incredibly stupid. But she fell in love already, so it was too late to keep her heart from being broken. Others warned her against him or against falling in love. Flying too high, she left her heart open, behind, because once she felt it was right. But now she knows better.... Real, human, extremely painful, and I I think this is beautifully worded.... The only thing that doesn't jump out at me is his pride.... Maybe just because I'm a guy, but I think there is more to her story than just that... Very nice poem and that photo of the woman on the boat is awesome... Is that you?
Awwww ... I hope she can see that there is a better life waiting for her.
Lovely, emotional writing.
"It’s his pride
His discomfort
Against the whole world." deep wounds bound in that pride...a beautiful poem my friend.
Pride can be lonely...sad for her..beautiful poem.
kinda sad
Cute.... I didn't mean to imply anything by mentioning how beautiful the photo is earlier, I'm sorry if I left that open to any misinterpretation... I meant to say that boat is really hot... Woman? What woman? I want to stick a 50 hp Evinrude on the back of that thing and do some heavy ripple damage to that little lake.... Ok, I'm lying.... It's that lake! Look where she is sitting... Next to overhanging bushes, that's where huge bass float and wait for little bugs to fall off of those bushes into the water so they can eat them... I'll bet there is a ten-pounder under that boat right now! Ok, I'm lying again... I'm a guy. Should I just go ahead and just dive right into that lake after the other idiot now? :) (I hope you know that I am joking, which I am apt to do sometimes, and it would probably help if I had a sense of humor...) Your poem is absolutely lovely and so is your photo, the whole photo... Another life, another time long ago, I was a fisherman. And this photo explains why anyone would want to spend time in a place like that. It's simply beautiful. The woman would be a bonus, of course, but I'll wager that she wouldn't bait her own hook.... and then drink my beer, ten minutes later she would have to go find a bathroom, and complain how bored she is every five minutes after that.... And finally she's gonna want one of my fried egg sandwiches and you know what? That's where I draw the line. You have to be pretty special to get one of my fried egg sandwiches. And I'm sorry but I just don't know her that well. No sandwich for her. unh-unhhh. I'm like the Soup Nazi on
Seinfeld. And of course I'm joking again and I hope that I brought a smile to your face today because life is supposed to be fun too! Beautiful Poem young lady.......
Dulce, what a nice offering. Greatly enjoyed, starts off with a great first stanza and the remainder works off of it extremely well, thanks for sharing, Happy Open Link Night
This is his pride and sometimes it is so hard to understand and to accept. I hope she can find her place and her peace beautiful poem.
http://gatelesspassage.com/2011/09/20/the-fait-of-our-lands/
great poem - i felt so sorry for him - he is so excluded by his own actions
Dulce ! Congrats on being NUMBER ONE on Mr. Linky at dVerse today, whooohooo. I forgot to jump in until 20 minutes later and ended up 62 this week. But better late than never. :)
I sure hope she knows she can choose to fly free from the plight, tho the journey will have its challenges.
Really am entranced by the line about him diving and breaking, yummy words.
xo
Such an example of the archtype male. Infused in testosterone and probably checking his reflection all the way down into the lake. Terrific piece.
"It’s his pride
His discomfort
Against the whole world."
Tight write, Dulce.
Now her plight. Wow. Powerful... makes one think to choose a bit more wiser in the area of love.
oooooooooooooooo, sweet, saved the best for last. Very nice. Great words, line development, tone, pace, voice, a package of brilliance. And I have to say I kinda know the feeling in reverse or from the other's point of view. NICE
A vida por vezes surpreende, coloca-nos paredes que nos impedem de seguir nosso rumo. Mas com coragem e confiança todas as paredes se derrubam!
Beijos!
AL
No debemos de hacer caso al orgullo y pensar con la mente en frio.
un placer leerte.
feliz semana.
powerful statement: It’s his pride
His discomfort
Against the whole world.
Nice write!
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