Lanterns hanging on tree branches
Blown with the cool breezes of afternoon bridges
Pears and lemons falling from trees
Trees
deprived of stress
But their mess
Sweetly sinking in rotten leaves
And I...
presuming this is the beginning
of the last command
And I …
insisting this must be what was
and no more will it…
And I …
looking into your eyes
smile.
And I …
So long looking for it...
The key is there
Was
Always there
You’ve found me.
____________________________________________________________
La Cage Nicole Marbaise
14 comments:
smiles. this is nicely textured...and when you break into the "and i's" gets really sweet...very nice..
Thank you for your comment, Dulce, and this poem is superb. I love the illustration that you have chosen to accompany it.
And I...presuming
And I...insisting
I was thinking:
And I...believing.
Believing that the key all along was with me, (hanging around my neck?)on me, was really me.
Hwy Babe, all I needed then was to put that "key of willingness" into the keyhole, unlock the treasures I found there. (Again, which were always there--grin!)
Your tight writing form is getting more thoughtful, better, deeper, than ever before. It is Good! I'm glad to be here!
Tempting, mysterious, suggestive poem. I love it!
Imagining a Japanese countryside with lanterns and a woman reading out this verse to her love.
Dulce, how lovely is this poem. As always, I am smiling here.
Joy always,
Susan
Like that last line..."you found me"
Sweet poem ...thanks ~
Wonderful words wrap round this fantastic image and bring it to life. Sweet, yes...but also mighty powerful. There is goodness here...love the vibe!
Love the write :)
Excellent writing for mood and meaning here, dulce--and the hands in that painting are scary. I esp like the way you've made the words run down the page, taking the reader along "...And I.../presuming this is the beginning/of the last command..."
I love the breaks and especially this:
Trees
deprived of stress
I took a few moments to let those words sink in, so precious!
So sweet to be found.
Glad the trees are not stressed. Most of our Texas ones are with this drought.
Be nice to have lemons and pears falling here. Enjoy! And enjoy your day!
xo
xoxo
:)
shapes, textures and layers - a smart poem with plenty of sensual characters, i sweetly sunk and fell for this piece as its structure collapsed under the weight of all it contains
A double sweet response from me. Luved every inch of this. The line work, poetic tools, images. And kind of warmed me up a bit:)
Very nice.
And so is there . . . where it always is. Not so hard to find.
Nicely flowing, rhythmic, alluring.
Cheers!
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