In Question

When does it actually start being our choice and not others’?

Ever since we are conceived, maybe?

While being in our mother’s belly or perhaps

Once we are given birth?

When do we make up our own minds for the first time?

Being an adult…intriguing.

When does one become one?

Can you positively state ‘I am a grown up individual’?

Did that become a fact when you knew Santa was not Santa at all?

Maybe when you had sex for the first time and you really enjoyed it?

Maybe when you had sex for the first time against your will?

When you made the far reaching decision of getting married?

When you metamorphosed into a mother?

When you learnt how to be picture-perfect

And were able to cope with the high standards

Others had previously so well created?

Was it when you did not stumble any more,

Stopped being messy and instead started writing things down on a diary?

Was it perhaps when you began having interesting conversations

Which had nothing to do with your feelings

But suited perfectly because you were also paying a mortgage?

Or was it when you survived despite all the suffering around you

And yet you could go to sleep in peace?

Perhaps it was when you lost that friend because you were stubborn enough

Or when you declined to lose a friend because you swallowed your words

And thus your thoughts…?

When you know how, when, who and where…

When you can handle the side effects

When you can disconnect

Meditate, relax

Lose faith and gain it again

When you say, ‘ Ok, that’s it.’

When you say, ’I’m really happy today’

Or when, instead, you say, ‘I’m really sad but I don’t know why.’ (?)

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