Of the rain coming down
Hung clothes getting wet
Damn
I should have noticed
By the smell
By the vision
My intuition
My moon
And I see him play
Or I hear him play
So ignorant
Of any pain
Convinced I’ll always
Be there
Every day
To hold Him …
And fright gets back
That I might not stand and
He lose my presence
For I could also depart.
Stopped the rain
Light a cigarette
And let that regard
Fall apart
Pleading it not
To come back
While I kill this self a bit
With each puff…
I’m hungry again.
---------------------------------------------------------------------Image by Deviantart
Dulce
16 comments:
My favorite part of this poem is the first half. You've taken such a simple thing, rain starting while the laundry is out, and a child is playing, and painted it beautifully. I chuckled at "I should have noticed." Isn't that always the way?
The ending (you and those endings!) took me by surprise. What a good job you've done showing the import of every day details in your poem, Dulce. :-)
'for i could also depart' now that stopped me dead in the tracks. not something i'd have considered, but girl, you're so right...
Your words truly paint a picture of life!! The best part, and it would be my thought also...and that's the "Damn" because the laundry is not drying. LOL
I loved this.
So well written! Bravo.
very realistic, in the moment, true-to-life ... visually well done!
smiles,
Dulce dear heart, the picture is precious, is that your little one?
This part of your poem so touched me ...
And I see him play
Or I hear him play
So ignorant
Of any pain
Convinced I'll always
Be there
Every day
To hold him ...
And fright gets back
That I might not stand and
He lose my presence
For I could also depart
You brought on a few tears with those lines, especially ...
Convinced I'll always
Be there
Every day
To hold him
Thanks for sharing your heart!
Love your writings!
Margie:)
P.S About the lovely award you gave me, I'll try my best to figure out how to put it on my sidebar...I am such a computer dummy...LOL! I really am!
You must realize by now how much I DO love your writings, Dulce. And the following is not critical. Others have commented on the beauty of "you the mother, and your child". So,, I'll move on down the poem:
I saw you puffing away, "killing this self a bit..."--do you not enjoy a smoke?
And then, "I'm hungry again." Hey, that's me, too!!! Gonna go get some cookies, and "kill myself a bit!" LOL
PEACE...to peaceful Dulce.
Stunning xx
right here where I live, it just rains too much.
Dulce, you "double-dipped on M's blog, so I'm doing it here. Read your poem over, and gonna copy and send it to an appropriate person. I will give you full credit, although the Peep is not a blogger. OK?
Also i keep forgetting to comment on your pictures, the astuteness (is that a word?). thank you SO much for all your effort here, but I believe you are having fun doing it!
Again...peace!
Thanks a lot each and everyone of you, for your always supportive comments.
I wrote this poem in "a moment" (literally) I love it when they come out so easily... It was more difficult, and took me longer to find the photo. I visited this page I found via my dear Shadow... And got it! It had all I needed!!!
Margie dear,
the boy is not my son, but so very similar, same hair, same angel face...except for the eyes my son's are brown... but must be the same age (nearly seven).
Lots of Love from me to you all...
:)
We always convince ourselves that we'll always be there for our children, but so many times doubt strikes back. What if... What would become of these children if... So many children to whom mum and dad are absent and only look for someone to love them. It's so sad...
very wel thought out and constructed piece!
I started off not understanding but bt the time I read all the comments then went back and read the poem again it was much clearer.
I'm a little slow sometimes at seeing the obvious.
Pleading it not
To come back
While I kill this self a bit
With each puff…
I’m hungry again.
This spoke to me...
Hugs,
Sue
Dulce-we are always going toward something, and away from somethng else. just the way it is, the way it must be. You said it so well. ~rick
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