Tuesday, March 30

On The Run

The roads were always there
For you to be walked.
The guitar was always there for you to be played.
Those piles of books
You could’ve read.

Instead you took the shortcuts
You sang out of tune
You read the summaries.

Was it that nobody ever dare love me?
Was it that I felt I wasn’t loved?
But in fact I was?
Was it that my mother had too much
To do- to share and did not really care?
Why did she take me to all those doctors
Instead , why didn’t she look at me,
observed and see
all she had to do
Hug me

Kiss me and give me the protection I had not?
Should I blame that woman
Who I've always adored?
Was it that I was born out of time
At the wrong time
What was it that kept me weeping all day long?

What a life for a child.

And what came next...

The teenager, what a mess
And the idiots all about the place
Was it me
Or was it them- then?
Was I too mature
Or too innocent
Perhaps too dependant?

I remember being laughed at
That you can never forget
So many things to regret
Poor girl
All that suffering you did not deserve

Your body was always there to be loved
Your chances were always there to be taken
That music, you heard,
Thank your dear brother

Instead you hated it, too fat, too ugly, too long
You did not make up your mind
But were led with the current of the others

I’ve got some music and I listen
And while I do
And do this fast flashback of my weird life
I feel so sorry for the lost opportunities
For the wasted time
For my laziness
Lack of energy
Lack of love-in and out
Lack of ‘Come honey, you are safe with me’

Instead, the world is against me, so
I will be no less
What a shame, a pity, a loss
Nothing will be back, nothing I’d change
Maybe I would, you know now you can’t...

So what the hell, to hell, forgive them, and yourself
It’s all over, time is now.
______________________________________________________Deviantart Image

Monday, March 29


I fall asleep - peacefully
If you are not there

As I wake up

I’d say it was just a dream

Can you see
what you are
doing to your girl?

Can you notice
how I am turning on
at the sight

at the thought

of such exciting moment

Can you feel
as much as I feel
this ecstasy?

Tell me
Can you?

Are you aware?

I ask you

Are you?

Your answer
needs no words

Not even thoughts

Your touch,

Here and there


Kissing here and there


Caressing so sweetly

Licking so gently


I thought I had lost feeling

On those places in my body

I even did not know I had them

It’s this passion,




Avidity, slow
How do you know


What I want?

This pleasure

Leaves me breathless


But the smile in my face


All the way

From top to toe

Just a touch of you

makes the feeling go so deep

So full, so neat

I fall asleep - peacefully
If you are not there

As I wake up

I’d say it was just a dream...

But I know

I can always go back

To sleep

And I’ll ask you

And your answer

Will come.

No need of words
Not even thoughts

Your touch…


Sunday, March 28

But Do It

Roll up

Allow no fright

To get in

Slam the door

Break the chains

Open the gates wide

Let your inner voice

Be your leading light

Change the tune

Delete mails

Throw away papers

Clean your soul

Tidy the room

Of your confused mind

Let new seeds grow,

New flowers blossom

Rely on yourself

Feel confident

To be your own companion

Free your heart

Of such old wounds

Accept yourself

Love yourself

Open all the windows

Let that renewed air

Fill in your space

Make self esteem

Be your closest friend

Face your face

Be yourself

Hold yourself

Wear this new fragrance

Purer, fresher

Let that drop

Go down

From neck to toe-

No rush.


I am longing

For that feeling

Where every moment

Is the best and first...

I am searching

For that moment

When love

Is given back at request...

I am waiting

For that love

While these seconds fly

Like specks seen

Against the sunset light....

_________________________________________________________________________________Waiting By Pinkpaint

Friday, March 26

Left Behind

Oh please don’t leave me alone

Not now

Please do not leave me

I’ll die without you

Don’t you know

It’s you all I have?

Please don’t go

Do not!

Without you, I’ll die

Don’t you go



Do not!

I’ll do whatever you ask me to

As you may see

I have no idea what pride is

But certainly

What dependence means

I depend on you

As a just born baby on its mother

As a flower needs to be watered

To live

Don’t you go


Do not!

At least


Kiss me good bye

So you realize

What you leave behind

No one will ever love you as I do

No one will you ever find

Who loves herself

So little

As I do…

_______________________________________________________________Deviantart Image

Thursday, March 25


Just a moment ago
Was 30 years ago.

One minute will be
The rest of my life.

I am just one
The one
Not the only one
But my one...

The one who loves you
The one who does not.

I am the one who triggers
The one who sobs.

As strong as an ox
As slippery as an eel
As oil
As soap...

Am I so many women?
I guess so.

I dance with queens
And witches-
As you might’ve seen.

As sour as vinegar
As sweet as honey
And ice cream
And delicious strawberries.

When there are no answers
My balance looses...

Noisy and nosey
But I don’t really care.

Quieter than silence,
Deaf silence.

Cold ice
Hot hell
Blind and voiceless
I am many me's...

Don’t know which I’d keep
I’d love to be more this me
Than the other me
But that’s the way it is.

Am even you
Fresh, dull, old, pale


I've recently realized how much
I take after all of you, people...
Yet, who I am makes a big difference.
__________________________________________________________Deviantart Image

Wednesday, March 24

Loving Balm

We bathe in moistened

Pure water...

Fragrant oils...

This togetherness

This spring

All of a sudden

This warmth.

Gazing at each other

No need to prove

We love each other

One more than the other.

Holding me closer

You know

When you touch me

I am filled

And words need not

To be uttered

But do please

Whisper it again.

You are so delicate

I am so fragile.

This is here for eternity.

Stars shine

In this water

Of our love

Both leaning over

To feel our kiss

So tender, so smooth

This sweet surrender.

Leading us to past and future

Despite the slow pace

As far, as near

As those starts

Which smile at our grace

Our balm.

Just the rhythm of our souls

I’ll be your sun

Even though the day is done.

Fear of death


When you are this near.


Tuesday, March 23

Over Now

It’s not time for birds migration
Where will they go?
But it’s departure time

This desire
Will never expire
Hug in one
Lips in fire

Drowned in the loneliness
Of this island
Sinking in the ocean
Of the hunger and wounds

Smelling the twilight
Words tangle
It’s departure time

Tears fly
And are trapped
In the circling of their hearts

All that noise is deaf
The beat on their chests
Break the silence
The mess

Eyes do the talking

Hoping not to regret
It's never too late

It’s departure time.
_________________________________________________________Deviantart Image

Monday, March 22

Love Echoes

My love

I love these reconciliations of ours

Because your love is

The air that I breathe

Your kiss, my bliss

So many words I need

To explain

This miss, your turmoil

My love

I cannot see beyond

Your wish

And if that is what you need

To stop loving me

My love,

Then you must know

Before you go

I need you to have a look inside my soul
Touch this beating of my heart
Thus, you know how I long for you
And if or whenever we're apart…

…I’ll close the door upon my heart
Won’t let anyone in,

Words drop and you misunderstand

Because your kiss is my bliss

So many words I need

To explain

This miss, your pain

Our turmoil

I cannot see beyond

Your wish

You know you came into my life

Made me change my mind.

I have nowhere to look at

If you are not at my side.

And if that is what you need

To stop loving me

My love,

Then you must know

Before you go

Although we exist between two different shows

And we travel separate roads

Our voices, our souls, our kisses, our love

Have exactly the same...

...Just one echo.

To Sam.


Sunday, March 21


Writing helps

I feel it kind of gets a bit out of here

My mind looks desperately

To get a certain freedom

What freedom

Gives us the freedom of thoughts

What is the compensation here

For so much evil there

I see this terrible world

So many cases like that


All we know and...

Oh those we never get to know!

How can those monsters dare abuse those children

How can mother nature allow that to happen?

Why don’t they evil bastards get burnt in their own bonfire

Any accident would do!

How I’ve wished their long suffering

Desperate agony...

How can those monsters dare abuse those children

How can mother nature allow that to happen?

I wish I had the justice- what’s that?

In my hands

And become the executor

Do not worry

It won’t take me more than a few minutes

To make justice- what’s that?

How can those monsters dare abuse those children

How can mother nature allow that to happen?

What relief would that give me?

Seeing them suffer the cruellest of pains

Would that make me happier?

Would I get some sort of catharsis?

But I feel I need I must be made for this

Even though those are not my children

And I look around

And people keep on smiling


And others keep on dying

More suffering

And the other ones

Keep laughing

Celebrating, smiling

And even praying

For it’s all in god’s hands!

How I wish s/he made justice- what’s that?

And so merry

They keep on celebrating

And laughing

And I am one of them

As well

But I keep on crying

Dying and no way


And asking why those monsters dare abuse those children

How can mother nature allow that to happen.

No, sorry

I was wrong

Writing does not help.

But I can share this with you

If you’ve read.

___________________________________________________________________________Deviantart Image